Experimenting. Pondering. Wondering. What is the dream world really? What can it teach us? What can we do with it? What is the greater purpose of lucid dreaming? What can I do with this power? Are we connected in the dream time? Are we more connected in dream time than in wake time? I feel I have connected to people in meditation. Tapping into the collective conscious and accessing people. To the point where they have called me on the phone immediately after because they felt compelled. I would easily believe that while sleeping, when more vulnerable, we would much easier be able to tap into this collective conscious and access one another.
I’ve never met anyone who was as into dreaming as myself. Well, not that I’m aware of. No one who had as much experience messing around in the dream world. I felt I had come as far as I could on my own.
Around 22, in addition to a dream journal I also kept notes on daily activities, where I slept (as I traveled a lot), how much sleep I got, if I ate sugar, how much exercise, TV watching and what not. To see how these things affected my dream world and ability to lucid dream. At this point in time I had been drug free for awhile. Only caffeine and sugar intake. I did not find much correlation.
Continuing this process, at 23, I decided to experiment with sleeping in different positions. Head pointing North, than south, than east, than west. I switched positions every night (one night north, next night east, and so on) taking note of the position, the dreams, how detailed, what context, if they were lucid, prophetic, etc. (I have had some prophetic dreams, nothing too profound, but I’ll comment on that in a later post). Also while conducting this experiment, I desperately wanted to learn more about the capabilities of dreaming. I was unable to find a teacher in the physical realm. This was mostly before the days of the internet take over (at least in my world) so there was no on-line searching. Nor did I seek out any books aside from dream interpretation dictionaries. I thought that perhaps I could find a teacher in the dream world. Every night, in my different positions, I would speak my intention of wanting a teacher. Praying for a teacher, inviting a teacher into my dreams to guide me.
At first there was nothing. Though with the changing positions I did not notice when my head was faced east or north I had better, longer, and happier dreams. When my head was pointed west or south, I had scarier, shorter, more intense dreams. Eventually, all my dreams became intense. As I continued to invite a teacher, my dreams became scarier and more real. I stopped inviting a teacher and I stopped changing positions. I stayed with my head pointed (east or north I don’t remember). But even still the dreams became nightmares. They worsened. I would wake up terrified. The dream would follow me into the waking world. It would sit with me as I would shake my head trying to knock it free. I didn’t write the dreams down. I had this irrational fear that writing them would give them even more life and the dreams would leap from the page and attack me. I would turn the light on and be awake for at least a half hour pacing around trying to fully escape the dream and disconnect. This happened night after night. Far worse than anything I had experienced as a child.
I had one really good friend I was living with at the time. She knew of my dream experimenting and adventures. I told her about these nightmares and how they had gotten completely out of control. I asked her for suggestions. She said, as I lye down for bed, before sleeping, I should tell whatever may or may not have followed me out of my dreams, whatever spirit or idea or whatever that had been haunting my dreams, to please go away. To thank it for coming, but to ask it very nicely to please just leave and let me sleep. I slept in her room on the floor that night. That’s how terrified I was. I did as she instructed. And guess what, that was the end of it. No more nightmares that night. No more nightmares again.
I stopped the dream work after that. I guess I was just really shook up. And didn’t know how to precede anyway. For a few years I didn’t do any more dream work. I lucid dreamed once or twice a year without trying, but that was it. I flew in my dreams naturally about one additional time a year. I still often remembered my dreams, as I always have, but I was no longer active. Not really, anyway. I still got messages and insights from my dreams, still analyzed them, but I didn’t attempt anything and didn’t write them down.
I want to go back and add one part. I always like to look at the whole picture of what was going on regardless of how crazy or insignificant. I don’t know what you, or even what I believe, in regards to spirits, entities, and /or ghosts. But I’ve had some strange experiences in my life. So while living at this house where I had those nightmares, another friend had come to visit. (this was while I was experimenting with the different directions, but before the nightmares began). We were sitting in the dining room talking about the house. The house was old and in the south. There was a separate very small building next to the house. It was kind of strange. We were saying we thought maybe it was the old slave quarters. Then we were speculating on the history of the house and decided to try and tap into any past energy. We both sat quietly meditating on the space. I got a feeling of someone young standing in the corner in punishment. I could almost see them there in my minds eye. A loud booming, dominant male voice. Strict and fierce. I didn’t hear it per say, more like felt it. Afterwards, my friend and I discussed our experiences, what we had felt. We had very similar perceptions. Which I found interesting. It was either that night, or the very next night, the first nightmare began. I didn’t put the connection together until later, until the nightmares stopped. So we can hypothesize what happened: Did I freak myself out with ghost stuff? Did I open myself up to spirits in the house and give them a gateway into my dreams? Did I give any random thing a gateway into my dreams? Did I just get spooked and allow the feeling to grow and take over my dreams? Or maybe the nightmares were the teaching I had asked for? A dark place I had to face in order to grow? Only my fear was too strong to go beyond.Who knows. It’s easy to rationalize away spiritual/unseen type things. But it gets harder when unexplained occurances continue to happen.
Anyhow, I never stopped thinking about dreaming. Around age 30 I tried to get back into. From then until now, age 36, it has been a back and forth of getting into dreaming for a few months and then not for about a year. When I am not actively working on dreaming I seldom lucid dream (once a year?). I do always remember them though. Listen to them, obtain messages, insights, feedback, and direction. Just no active dreaming.