I had another lucid dream. 9 nights after the first. This time around I didn’t know I was going to become lucid. The daytime waking hours did not feel like a dream the way they did the last time I became lucid.
I had 3 separate dreams that I remember from this night. Only one of them was lucid. I’ll get into the lucid one in a bit, but first, I found the other 2 interesting as well.
In all 3 of the dreams I felt annoyed. I’m not sure why. I’ve been in a good, happy mood for a few weeks. I did have a lot of trouble sleeping last night though, which was incredibly annoying, maybe it was that annoyance that filtered into my dreams.
Both of my 2 non-lucid dreams had strong signals I should have recognized as being a dream, but I missed out. In some dreams I have this really weird feeling that nothing makes since and why would things be this way. For me, those are my main signals that I’m dreaming. Some dreams I have though, no matter how bizarre they are, I don’t question them.
Another interesting thing about the 2 non-lucid dreams is I was naked in both of them. I remember thinking it was strange, but I wasn’t embarrassed or uncomfortable.
In both non-lucid dreams my reality from waking life came easily into my dream world. Which I like taking note of for some reason. For example, in 1 of the dreams, half of the dream was me lying in bed not being able to sleep. Which is what was happening all night long in waking life. But in the dream, I was in a different location and there were 3 other people in the bed with me. Also, I was hot in waking life and hot in my dream.
Lucid dreaming – For starters, all through everyday I think about lucid dreaming. Sometimes I remember to do reality checks and sometimes not. I have continued to write my dreams down throughout the night and every morning as I remember them. Sometimes I remember up to 5 and sometimes none. I’ve been listening to a podcast I mentioned before from lucidsage.com and in general think about what I want to accomplish in my dreams. Which I’ll write about in another post. The point is, that my waking life is inundated with thoughts of dreaming and gaining lucidity. Also mindfulness, and I’ve been meditating for 20-30 minutes most everyday.
One more thing I have to add which I find fascinating. While I’m trying to bring consciousness into the dream world, the dream world has been showing itself to me. Do you believe in synchronicity? In waking signs? Two days ago I overheard two 5 year olds talking about dreams on the playground. The one kid said, “Let’s go to the secret dreamland. We got to dreamland to find the dream key. Then we can unlock our dreams and go inside them to make new dreams.” A short pause. “I’m going to plant some dream seeds. We don’t usually plant dream seeds but I’m going to plant dream seeds so they will grow and I can use them to make new dreams.” Swallow that.
Then a couple days later at dinner, my 5 years old niece randomly says, “Maybe this is a dream.” I ask her why. “Because you guys are having a crazy conversation.”
The dream –
The last I saw the clock it was 4:15am. When I woke up from the lucid dream it was 4:43am
Some days I feel like I wake up between almost every dream sequence. I actually tend to feel more refreshed and energized on the days I’ve dreamt more, even if I’ve slept less. The other day I remembered no dreams, slept great, and was exhausted all day. After this dream, and getting horrible sleep, I was energized all day. My mind on overdrive. Actually I was pretty scattered, I had so many ideas and thoughts flooding through me. Meditating later on did seem to calm down the craziness a bit.
The first thing I remember in the dream is there was a little girl. She was two or less and we were playing. Then she ran out onto a dock and I ran after her. She kept running and she fell off the dock right into the water. I have to save her, I thought. I immediately jumped into the water after her and swam as fast as I could down, down into the water. The water was murky. A dark, dark gray. I wondered how I would find her if I can’t see. But I told myself I will. I had to save her. I will save her. I felt myself swim past her. I could feel the change in the water, the restricted movement of the water, as I swam past her, and the water bumped up against her. Then I stopped, moved under her, and turned up. I waited for her to fall into my arms. She did and I caught her. I thought, thank God. As I was swimming back upward I thought, how am I going to be strong enough to do this? How am I going to hold my breath long enough? As I was going up I noticed that i took a breath and I thought, oh good I can breathe underwater. Then I thought, I can’t breathe under water, this is a dream. I continued to save her anyway and continued to breathe underwater as I swam her back up. (water did not enter into my mouth when I breathed, in case you’re wondering) I got her onto the dock and she wasn’t breathing. There was a part of me that said this isn’t real just leave her. But there was another part that thought so what, she’s a dream child, you cant just leave her. So I tried CPR, pumping on her chest to get the water out. But it wouldn’t work. A voice in my head said, just leave her, it isn’t real anyway. But the other voice said, no, it doesn’t matter that she isn’t real, it would still be wrong to let her die. So then I willed the water out. I put my hands to her and lightly touching her, just kind of willed the water inside of her to come out. It shot up out of her torso in thin streams of water. Then she woke up and she was okay. Then somehow she almost fell right back into the water, but I grabbed her. I didn’t really know what to do. I felt bad to leave her, but I wanted to enjoy my dream. I was still lucid. Then I remembered about rubbing my hands together to stabilize the dream. So I did. (this is the first time I have ever done this in a dream before!) Then there was a car seat. All the sudden it appeared on its own on the dock. I put her in the car seat and I strapped her in so she would be safe. She was pissed and started crying/screaming. I flew away and I left her. It was really a struggle to fly. I was flying like I was swimming the breast stroke. It was really hard to push the air. If felt thick and heavy. It was annoying. And the little girl kept crying and crying. And I felt bad so i created Sparks of light and I threw them at her to entertain her. Then after I threw a few they started turning into fireworks. I threw more and more fireworks. They ended up making her pissed instead of happy. She threw some back at me in anger. I just flew away and decided to ignore her. (I had a very vague thought, wondering if she was to represent my inner child, but I ignored it. Now that I’m awake, I wonder if I should have acknowledged that thought to see where it would take me. I listened to a TED talk with Charlie Morley, a couple weeks ago where he talks about becoming lucid in his nightmare and instead of escaping the monster he hugged it. I would like to try something like that.)
Again, it was a struggle to fly. Why is this so difficult? I thought It’s a dream, I have control. Then I realized I should just will myself to fly. I didn’t need to put forth so much effort. I didn’t move my body at all. I just thought, I’m flying. I imagined myself flying and I moved through the air twisting and turning and I could feel the movement of the air against my body and it was awesome. All this time though that little kid was still crying. No matter where I went in the dream, I could hear her crying. A part of me thought, holy crap is there a kid crying in my Waking Life and that crying is filtering through into my dream? because why can I not get rid of this crying from this kid that’s not even real? I tried to ignore it.
So right, I’m flying and it’s awesome. Then all the sudden there’s this cloth grocery bag in my way and it keeps getting in my face and tangling up my hands and I keep trying to shove it away and it keeps reappearing. I think, this bag isn’t even real why are there constantly little annoyances in my lucid dream that keep trying to drag me back into the dream? And then I remembered the Dream Police in the other lucid dream. I was thinking, all these things keep trying to steal my attention. They’re so annoying that they force me out of my Lucidity by taking my concentration and dragging me back into the dream. Then all the sudden there was a tree there with no leaves just lots of branches. I grabbed the bag and stuck it on the branch so it would stop blowing around. Then I stood on a tree branch or just hovered by the tree, I’m not really sure. But I thought, I’m losing control. Let me re-stabalize. I rubbed my hands together again to get everything back on track. It was kool. After rubbing my hands together I just stared at them for awhile. They didn’t look any different, but I thought, Wow, yea, I never look at my hands in a dream. And something was really kool about it.
I take off flying again. Willing myself to fly. Soaring around and having it be awesome and then I thought about birds. That birds do this all the time. Oh yeah, I remembered, I’m supposed to try and become an animal in my dreams. Let me try to become an eagle. (I had an eagle on my shirt that waking day. There could be a connection there). So I felt my face get all scrunchie. I tried to focus on making my face smaller and feeling a beak protrude out. I could kind of feel my face transforming. It felt squattier, compressed. Then I tried to focus on spreading my arms out and feeling wings fill the void of the empty space, reaching all the way to my torso. After that, I felt this broad tail feather. It was like my legs were permanently spread out and there was something between them and they wouldn’t close. I forgot all about the eagles legs though. My legs had morphed into the tail feather, and the eagle I was becoming had no legs. Whoops. (I wonder, in this moment, why I forgot about willing things to happen. I tried so hard to become an eagle. But I’ve found in dreams forcing something doesn’t work. You have to will it to be so. Instead I should have just said. I’m an eagle. I feel myself as an eagle now. Instead of slowly forcing each part of myself to transform)
I was focusing a little too hard and trying to feel what it felt like to flap my wings. But, when I moved them it was more like I was swimming (arms out, arms at sides) then flapping. I didn’t realize this at the time though. I kept trying to glide through the sky and feel what it felt like to have wind in my wings. I could feel myself kind of losing it. I only felt maybe like I was halfway eagle and I was having a hard time creating more and maintaining it. Then there was something. Something happened, but I can’t remember. A noise maybe. Something surprised me in my dream. Aw shit, I thought. Because I knew I was waking up rather quickly and there was nothing I could do about it. It wasn’t a slow fade like last time. I was dreaming. It was black and I was floating for half a second. Then I was awake. (obviously I wasn’t actually floating. I don’t believe I was outside of my body. But that’s how the transition feels to me going from dream to wake. There’s a darkness and weightlessness in between the 2 states)
This was my first time ever trying to become something other than myself. So I feel good about it. I’ll have to try again.