After 4 days I’ve finally remembered a dream
I fell asleep for the night at 1am, then woke at 2am
I’m in an attic type of space. It is poorly lit and had a feeling of being kind of dirty and dusty. I’m sitting on the floor with a large chest. It’s full of body parts. Not fresh ones. Really, really, really old ones from my great ancestors, whom I’ve never met. It was a big chest and it was full of body parts. That’s how I kept thinking of it in the dream, a box of body parts. I think it had stuff like skulls and bones. Some of these parts we’re recognizable as body parts and some were not. They were very old and calcified. It was spooky and odd to keep, but not gross in any kind of a way. There was no crime involved in these body parts. There was also a smaller box where I was keeping other parts that I wanted to have more easily accessible. The bigger chest would go back to being stored away, and I wanted to have some things in a smaller box I could look through more often if I wanted. There were many things in this smaller box, as well as on the floor. I needed to go through it all again and decide what I wanted to filter back into the large box and what did I actually want to keep in the smaller box. But I didn’t want to go through these parts anymore, it was kind of creeping me out.
Vaguer memories in the dream – I had already gone through all these parts multiple times. In fact much of the dream was me sorting through and looking at the different pieces of my ancestors. The first time I had gone through them I found it really exciting and fascinating. The second time it was pretty cool. The third time it was starting to get a little weird. The fourth time it was creeping me out a bit. The 5th time I was completely creeped out and even a little fearful. I needed to go through the small box one more time to sort everything and put it away. But I was beginning to feel really uncomfortable and disturbed. I did not want to touch the items again. It was all starting to feel somewhat haunted.
I walked out of this room. Outside. Down some stairs and I was in the grass. There was a big tree to my left, like an oak or maple, with no leaves on it. Just many intricate branches. This was on a street corner, like a corner lot. There was something in the tree. I can’t quite remember what. I feel like it was rats or something close to that. There were 4 of them. I was trying to sneak by this tree quietly and not disturb the rats because if they heard me something was going to happen. They were going to come down the tree and I don’t know if they’re going to eat me or the body parts in the chest … I’m not sure. They were going to eat something that I didn’t want them to eat. I was afraid of that happening, but not afraid for my life. I really didn’t want them to notice me. But they weren’t paying any attention to me so I was able to walk by.
The next thing, I’ve come back into the house from a different entrance. I enter into a room and my sister is lying on the bottom bed of a bunk bed. She’s lying on her stomach and writing in a journal. (She looks like my normal sister, but the house is like no place I’ve ever seen and my sister and I never owned bunk beds) I said something to her like, how are you? She responded that she was really flustered. She was writing her dreams and said something to the affect of she was doing it because Mom had told her to or had suggested it. She said about 5 different things in a run-on sentence really fast and I couldn’t understand any of it. I asked her to repeat herself. She said something about focusing on the last thing you were dreaming and something about communicating with grandma (our dead grandma on my mother’s side is what I was thinking when she mentions Grandma). There was something about writing her dreams would maybe set off a chain of events and then one of those things would either be connected to Grandma or help to better connect to (our dead) Grandma in the future or something like that. It was unclear if Mom wanted her to do this or if Mom said something that made her think she could do this. She was very flustered about it though and having a difficult time.
Then I was thinking about the chest of body parts. How I had to go through it again. How I couldn’t keep putting it off. I needed to go through it, but I really didn’t want to. I told my sister I needed to do this and how it was so exciting the first time, but after 5 times it was now starting to creep me out.
Next scene – my sister and I are in the attic. I decide there’s no reason I have to go through all this stuff again right now. I can just put all the things and the smaller box back into the larger box, store it away again. And then one day if I want to get it back out and go through it I can. My sister tells me that she’ll buy the items in the box from me. I tell her it’s not for sale and there’s no reason she needs to buy it. It’s her stuff too. It belongs to the family and it’s going to stay here in the attic so she already has access to it.
As I’m looking in the large chest, after putting the smaller box into it, I notice there is some thread in the box as well as sewing needles. There is also a glass smoking pipe in there. I ask my sister if she knows anyone that could get use out of it. Then I realize it’s a pipe that a friend who blows glass made/gave me in waking life. I think of this memory in the dream and then say never mind, I can’t give that away. A friend gave it to me and even though I’ve never used it and never will I’d like to keep it. But then I tell her that maybe I would like to start smoking pot. She tells me she’s been buying some cheap pot recently (my sister is not, nor has ever been a smoker).
Next scene she is smoking the pipe and then passes it to me. I take a puff, inhale and then wake up.
Dream Analysis –
This dream was pretty crazy and had a lot of interesting things. I feel like I could take the analysis in many different directions. I’ll start at the end. I don’t smoke pot, not for a very, very long time. But for some reason, for the past few months I keep dreaming that I decide to start smoking again. This was the first time I actually did smoke in a dream. I don’t know where this is coming from. Unless my subconscious is telling me to get high, but I doubt it.
So I’m really into family history. I’ve been on ancestry.com for 7 years trying to find info about my ancestors. I have all these old photos and documents that I often sort through and have tried hard to identify. I have actually had good luck identifying many unlabeled photos of ancestors. Finding out this random family photo is of my great great grandparents and their children. A month or 2 ago I was sitting on the floor and going through a small chest of photos and documents (not body parts). I did go through this about 3 times, because I always miss stuff, and I did pull out certain items to set aside for easier access. I did not however get creeped out. I haven’t been thinking about this ancestral stuff since then, but there seems to be a direct correlation.
My sister writing her dreams, makes since as I’ve been writing mine. And her speaking about communicating with my dead grandmother also makes since, because 1 – I’m reading about the idea of that kind of thing being possible, and 2 – I recently was remembering that 1 time I had a dream where that same grandmother came to me and gave me a special message to pass on to my mother. (I couldn’t remember the dream though, so I just talked to my mom and turns out I remembered it wrong. But regardless I had been thinking of it this way)
The Deeper Analysis –
In this dream I get the impression there is something about looking at my shadows. About seeing the darker parts of self. At first, for me at least, it can be exciting to look deeply at oneself and realize patterns, stories, and mindsets that hold us back. To see myself for the self-centered asshole I can sometimes be. To own it, and try to work on it. But sometimes, continuing to do self work, continuing to see more, it can be disheartening. Frustrating, and bring on self-deprecating thoughts. I see a connection here. Sometimes I do feel as if I’m emptying my closet of problems and issues and they’re all laid out before me and I don’t know how to sort through, discard, and heal. Sometimes it’s easier to put the work on the back burner and deal with it later. Perhaps the idea of wanting to smoke pot has to do with fighting an urge to put a veil over my shadows. To live in a fog so I don’t have to grow up and put myself out into the world.
Also if you want to stretch the imagination a bit. The thread and sewing needles could possibly represent the idea of stitching oneself back together. I’m a seamstress, sewing many of my own clothes and this is an idea I sometimes think of and have thought to try and represent in a video. Often, I feel like I have two conflicting parts of myself that are constantly in battle with one another. Sometimes I think I need to use my sewing skills to stitch these two parts of myself into one happy whole. To find a way to integrate them in unison opposed to always being in opposition. This to me goes along the same lines with looking at your shadow self. I cannot integrate my two half selves without looking at the whole self.
It was kind of like a choice inside the box. The pipe to smoke and cloud yourself, or the needle and thread to stitch the self into a whole person. That was the choice, and I choice the pipe. Doh!
Lastly, looking at the rats in the tree. This is sort of mind boggling to me. The one impression I get from it is the whole scene had a spooky eeriness to it. I did not want the rats to notice me. I did not want them to … feed on the body parts? Which represent my shadow self? I wanted to creep by unnoticed. And they didn’t notice me and I was surprised. This could have a correlation with the idea that I don’t like to show a negative side, I don’t want my darker parts to leak out. I like to stay peaceful and content for the most part. When my insecurities, controlling parts, asshole insensitive nature comes out – I really hate it and fear rejection. Typically it is not a big deal. Everyone is like this. We just have to do our best. The rats ignored me like I was no big deal as do most people in my life ignore (tolerate) my faults. In my other dream analysis post I mention this same thing and I feel it is possibly being depicted again in this dream.