No lucid dreams recently, it’s been 1 week. Last nights… this morning’s actually… dream seemed to be trying hard to help me gain consciousness, but I stayed trapped in the dream.
I was trying to wake up for work. Trying to lye there and see if I could bring any dreams back to me before jumping out of bed. Instead I think I fell into this dream:
I’m not sure of the order of the dream, I’m only certain of the last scene
Scene – Very vague. This may be the first scene of the dream. I’m in a house. A friend from waking life is there. There is a glass pipe on the window sill. I am high. I feel high. A slight buzz, fogginess. I wonder about smoking some more from this pipe, but I’m leaving soon and don’t know if I want to be all that high when I leave. I think I decide not to smoke more. (I’ve been dreaming a lot about smoking and being high recently. I don’t smoke, not for years and years, still not sure what this is all about.)
Scene – I was in Belize (one of my go to dream places. The last time I was here in a dream I realized it was a dream, but not this time). There was a ton of people. I wondered why it was so crowded. I was following these two girls around. They were walking. There is a weird feeling like maybe I was riding in someone’s backpack, even though that makes no since. There is also a vague thought in all this, the 2 girls plan to go to 2 different places. They are going to spend the whole night at those places. I question this, thinking that is a long time to spend at only two places. I’m wondering if maybe I will not want to stay with them the whole time. Maybe I will want to leave. I think about what is my exit strategy. How can I get home. I have an escape plan, but I don’t remember it. (I seem to dream a lot about leaving parties and getting away from large crowds – which is pretty much my nature)
Scene – I’m going to be meeting up with an ex-boyfriend. Someone from waking life. In the dream I say I haven’t seen him for 2 years, which is close to accurate with waking life. My mom is there. We are talking about this. My mom asks, “You know this guy, right?” I tell her I do. (There is either a dream memory or a forgotten dream scene where I had previously met up with some other guy that I didn’t know, but that’s all I remember of that). I tell her I do know him, but I haven’t seen him for awhile. She is glad that I know him because that means he knows me. He knows how I am and won’t be upset or surprised. I’m not really sure what that was all about or what thing about me it was good he knew. It was not some big thing, something small. I don’t know.
Scene – I’m sitting at a table outside. A black metal one with other people and there are other tables and people as well. It’s like some outdoor cafeteria eating area. I see a tiring float up. It’s small, like a child’s wagon wheel. It’s hovering on the other side of my table. I know someone is making it do this. I wonder if I can do something with it. I try to make the tire shoot towards my face. It does. Then a guy comes around looking for the tire. I give it to him. I tell him I made it fly right at my face. He said that’s cuz he already charged it up with his energy. I said, yeah I know cuz I saw it floating. But I still think it’s kool that I could also manipulate it. He goes back to his seat and starts trying to practice making other things float. He is flicking cards out and trying to get them to hover. He fails a few times, but then finally gets one. Something about him failing makes me happy, like it’s ok to fail, everyone fails, but he still has the ability even if he doesn’t get it right everytime. It makes me think there is hope for me.
Scene – There’s a kid, a boy, maybe age 12. He’s talking about having this connection with the ancestors. He points to three places on his heart and says he is connected to them through here, here, and here. He has studied to learn this. Then he points to another location on his heart and one on his ear. He says he has learned to be connected on these spots as well, but he has figured out these last 2 spots on his own. In the dream I knew what he was using the connection for, but I don’t remember now. It was a way of listening and communicating with the spirits, but that is all I remember.
Scene – I’m eating bones. There’s a dish of old ancestral bones on a table. I’m eating some of them. It’s supposed to help connect me to the spirits. I’m not really sure what I was going to do with the power. The bones are very thin, short, brittle. A yellowish/brownish color. Kind of like little twigs. I start to become a little more aware in the dream, conscious of what I’m doing. The bones do not taste good. I don’t enjoy eating them, but feel like it is important to do so. I’ve gotten another small handfull of these tiny bones, it is the last little bit I will eat. It starts tasting really gross. I try to choke them down, but it is super disgusting. I spit out the rest. Then I feel bad. Like I am disgracing the ancestors by wasting their bones. Then I start thinking that maybe I shouldn’t be eating their bones because I’m not from Belize. These are not my actual ancestors and maybe I don’t have a right to receive their power and knowledge. I wake up
analysis – For one, I’ve been listening to podcasts and youtube videos about lucid dreaming, and two of them mentioned recently about connecting with history and people that is not their ancestral lineage. In one of the cases it was questioned if this was wrong or not.
Eating bones to connect with ancestors could potentially have something to do with me trying everything I can think of to have a lucid dream. Going to extreme measures in a way – though I don’t feel like I’m doing anything extreme, maybe just obsessing over.
I seem to over analyze everything way too much in dreams. Over contemplate and spend a lot of time worrying. This seems to reflect my waking life. It is easier to see how detrimental that can be when viewing my thought processes as a dream opposed to being trapped inside the action, like in waking life. I like how reflecting on dreams allows me to take a look at myself from an outside perspective. Like how sometimes we think we can see other peoples flaws, issues, or why they should break up with their significant other, but they are too trapped in the drama of their life to see outside it. I feel like my dreams allow me to look deeply at myself from an outside perspective and therefor be more objective.
For the most part, I feel like the greatest insight into my dreams and into myself through my dreams, is in all my thought processes throughout the dream. But I feel like there is also something more that I’m missing.
In my dream, A chest full of the bones of my ancestors, there was also a glass pipe and bones of my ancestors. I find it interesting that these 2 things appeared again. On June 9th I had a disturbing dream that involved smoking and feeling very high, but no ancestors. However there was some type of demonic presence. It was the only other time I remember feeling high in a dream.
Add on – After meditating today, I’m wondering if there is a connection between meditation and the appearance of marijuana in my dreams. I’ve been meditating now for 3 months, which is the longest I’ve ever been able to maintain the practice. The presence of pot began appearing in my dreams around the same time, I think, it’s hard to remember for sure. Marijuana’s frequency and relevancy in the dream has been growing. Before just as a thought, idea, or conversation. Then 11 days ago I smoked for the first time in a dream, and just 4 days ago I was high for the first time.
Typically when meditating I guess I start falling asleep or something. At least, I get the hypnagogic images as if I’m falling asleep. 3 days ago I was able to remember what these images were for the first time, nothing profound, but now for the past 3 days I am able to recollect the images. I’ll take that as improvement. While meditating today I felt my body tingling, vibrating. It felt like I was glowing. I felt light, soft, and high. It felt really good. I’ve felt this before when meditating, but this was the strongest yet. It made me think of my dream, and how I felt high in it. I wonder if their is a connection to feeling high while meditating and feeling high in my dream.