Last night I had quite a lot of dreams. I recorded 6 different ones, some long and some just short fragments. There was a long dream where I was renting movies at a gas station. A comedy and a psychological thriller. There was another customer insisting she gives me $5. A dream fragment of my friend who just had a baby both in the dream and in waking life decided she would not start smoking or drinking again. (I don’t know if this is true for waking life). Another long dream with that same friend and her baby was going to have surgery (baby is healthy in waking life). She told me about it in a text. I spent the whole very long dream reading a 4 page text about it. I kept getting interrupted while I was reading it, which made it hard to read. In the end I did finally read the whole thing. The words were never shifting, just the people around me made it difficult. I believe this is the first time I’ve ever fully remembered what the thing I read says. Often the words don’t shift and I’m able to read, but I never remember what it had said. I’m going to put this dream in a separate post because I don’t want to make this one too long.
The most interesting dream to note is I finally had another lucid dream. It’s been 2 weeks. Unfortunately it was not a very strong dream, but at least it is something. I did not have very strong goals, and I’m beginning to see this as a problem. In the waking life if you ask me what I want to do in a lucid dream, I can easily list off 30 different things. But once lucid in the dream, if I do not have a clear goal in mind, then I can’t seem to think of anything. So I’ve decided it’s very important to focus on a clear lucid dreaming goal every night.
Yesterday evening, on my nightly walk, the trees and houses all had an eerie, surreal glow about them. Like a dream world. Mostly I think it was because of the lighting in the sky, nearly dusk. Even still, when I saw this I thought, I’m going to have a lucid dream tonight. It is only the third time the look of the trees told me I’d become lucid, and the second time it’s been true. 2 outta 3 ain’t bad.
Recently, my only goal has been, to not fly away and to engage the dream. Success on both of these points. So, still a win in my opinion. It is the first time (this go around with dream work) I did not fly away as soon as I was lucid. I wish I had more focused goals than that though. Another goal I accomplished, but had not intended, was making someone disappear, I had failed at this on my last attempt posted here on The Zombies Ate My Lucid Dream.
I had been getting frustrated recently with my lack of lucid dreaming. I had had 3 in 1 week. And now it is more like every 2 weeks. Yesterday I decided I should try Robert Waggoner’s technique of saying before sleep, “I will see my hands and know I’m dreaming” over and over before bed. I have also been trying to take note of my hands in the day and exam my hand tattoos. Make sure they are there and not shifting. Because twice I’ve had a dream and saw my hands and my tattoos were not there.
Here is the dream:
There was a long dream happening before the point of lucidity, but I only remember the scene where I gained consciousness. There is myself, a blonde haired girl and guy, who may or may not be a couple, and a dark haired girl. I ask the guy to rub my back (I don’t know why). Then the brunette is rubbing her hands in the air. Like a mime giving a massage. I look at her and am wondering what the heck she’s doing. Then she is rubbing her hands on the wall. I say to her, “If you want to be the one rubbing my back that’s fine, but why are you rubbing the wall?”
The other girl says, “Yea L, what’s wrong with you?” But the brunette is not named L. The blonde is mocking someone named L, insinuating the brunette is acting crazy like L.
Everything seems so strange. I’m standing in front of the brunette and looking closely at her. Lucidity slowly creeps in. (though I did not see my own hands, I saw the brunettes and this seemed to help trigger lucidity) I think about Robert Waggoner’s book and him talking about all the different types of dream figures. I ask her, “Are you real or are you…” I say something wrong. I can’t find the words. Then I remember. “Are you an independent agent?” She says no. Then I say, “Well then go away” and she disappears. I turn to the guy. Still struggling to find the right words, I ask him, “Are you real or an independent agent?” I think, I didn’t mean to say “real,” Then instead, “I mean, are you an independent agent?” “Yes”. “Well, show me what you can do then.” “Ok.”
We go into the adjacent room. I tell everyone to gather around (there are kids and other people in this room) because he is going to perform a trick. He needs 2 people. I choose 2 people for him, not wanting 1 of the people to be me because I’m afraid it might make me wake up. I make a bad joke that his experiment will only hurt one of the people, so the other needn’t worry. No one laughs. Then the guy makes a joke and asks what our budget is. I tell him a million dollars. This is a dream, the budget is infinite. It is taking him a long time to set up. It is starting to seem more like a magic trick. I think maybe I should bail on this, I’m wasting my lucid dream standing around. But then I think I did ask him to show me something, I should be patient. But then I wake up. (I wonder if the thing he showed me was how easily he could trick me back into the dream, instead of doing something more productive. Like when I dreamed about the lucidity police, sometimes there seems to be dream people (parts of myself) who are trying to hold me back. This is also what a tarot lady told me once. The only force fighting against me was me, and I was doing a good job of it.)
This time when I began waking up, things did not turn grey. They got kind of shaky and then I think I woke up into the following dream:
This is a vague confusing dream fragment. I was not Lucid anymore, but something weird was going on. There was something about this was a dream or some other dimension and when I woke up or re-entered my proper dimension, I would get lost. There is a dream memory of being in this other place/dream/reality/dimension before and I wanted to go home/wake up, but I didn’t know where my body was. I was in a foreign place (like not at my house) and didn’t know how to get there (didn’t know where it was on a map). There was a transition place between the two realities. It was all black there. Last time I was in the transition place (in the dream memory, not actual memory) a voice asked, “where do you want to go?” I had said something about “where I belong?” “where is that?” “I don’t know. I can’t remember.” Then I had been dropped off way off target and it took a long time to get back to where I was supposed to be. So this go around, I’m somewhere (in a dream/alternate reality/whatever) and I made sure to know exactly where I needed to get back to. I was staying near the concession. There was a huge building and cots were set up near the functioning concession stand and that’s where my cot was. I went into the dark in between place and very proudly told the abyss, “I know where I need to go this time. Take me to the concession.”
Then I maybe woke up.