A Sleazy Spiritual Guru, A Beautiful Swimming Hole, and Bug Jewelry

Last night I had 4 dreams I remembered. The 3 non-lucid ones played out as follows:

Dream 1

I’m at a spiritual workshop where there’s a white guy leading it and speaking from the podium. He looks to be around 50 with grayish/whitish/balding hair. He’s heavier-set and looks like a cross between Robert Moss and a Brazilian pervert I met one time at a hostel. I was having dinner with him for a while at a table. Just the 2 of us. He was making me slightly uncomfortable and I believe I told him I was not interested in him sexually.

Then my mom’s there. It’s the morning and we have been talking. We’re in a room, like a hotel room, and the door is open. I look behind me, through the open door there is a hallway. This guru guy opens his own door from the left side of the hall and steps out. I wave, but mostly out of obligation. He calls out to my Mom and says something about how wonderful and amazing I am. I whisper to my mom and start telling her I’ve met this guy 3 times now. The first time I thought he was really great and I really liked him, but at the end in one of his speeches he said a couple things that rubbed me the wrong way. The second time I met him I didn’t feel quite right. Like he was only 50% awesome. I felt an uncomfortable energy from him. Now the third time, at dinner, I sat with him and he made me very uncomfortable and I’m not sure how great he is after all.

My Mom was having a hard time understanding what I was trying to explain. It was difficult because all of it was just subtle energetic things. She said something like, “is he texting you and wanting you to something something (I don’t remember) call him daddy” and I looked at her and I said, “What? No. What are you talking about?” I told her I just felt like he was sleazy. Kind of like a predator. Pretending to be this spiritual guru and using it to his advantage in subtle come on ways. He didn’t talk specifically about sex, but was in a sneaky way and insinuating things. I just felt this energy from him that made me uncomfortable and I didn’t like it. I told her, “I know that I’m not wrong. Anytime I’ve ever felt some kind of energy from somebody, I eventually find out I’m not the only one. I find out I’m right about my feelings.”

Analysis – It is exceptionally interesting to me I had this dream. The last dream of the morning was a lucid dream I won’t go into. But I had a very strong experience that felt very real and very wrong. When I woke up and recorded my dream, 20 minutes later I could not shake the feeling. I felt the need to go back into the dream space and correct some things. So I did. The whole thing felt so real, and yet I question if it was just some nothing dream. But I think of this first dream from the same night and it seems like it’s telling me to trust what I felt.

Aside from that, I do see this kind of thing in the world. People pretending to be all holier than thou and really they are just scum.

Also, I have a hard time being complimented and usually think people are telling lies when they compliment me, so this could also be depicting that.

Dream 2

I’m with two friends from waking life B and L. We are in a beautiful body of water, in the forest, with huge rock boulders spread throughout the water. There are trees, grass, and moss on top of the rocks. L is in the water, but off to the side on the phone. B and me are in the water talking by a large boulder. The water is very blue. It is a bit cold. L is on the phone talking to 2 people who were supposed to get married. B says something about L not looking so good. I think about a dream I had that night ( in the dream. A dream in the dream) that said she was going to die that day. I almost start to say it to him, but then I don’t and I’m not sure why. I was going to say something like, well yeah she’s going to die today. But then I decide not to. L comes over and tells us the people are not going to get married anymore. I have another dream memory that I had a dream a few days ago where they weren’t going to get married. I get excited that my dream was right and I start to tell about it, but then I stop and say nevermind. They want to know what I was going to say. But I tell them recently I’ve noticed a lot of times when somebody’s talking I turn the conversation around to be about me in a way and that’s what I was about to do. I’m trying to be mindful and not do that anymore.

Then I’m swimming in the water. It’s incredible. The place is so beautiful. I tell B everything would be perfect if the water wasn’t so cold. I did not remember this in the dream, but as I recorded the dream, a past dream came to me (The swimming hole here is a lot like one I went to in a dream with a friend from childhood. We had found a secret swim hole. I think to get there we had to cross a river, follow a dirt path, go through a secret tunnel that was behind someone’s house and then we popped out of a cave. Now that I’m writing this, I remember I’ve had 2 other dreams where I’ve (not consciously) tried to get back to that secret swimming hole, but never could. Once I just couldn’t find it and once there was all these No Trespassing signs put up and the tunnel was blocked off. But the time I was at the swimming hole with my old friend, we were so happy. The water was cold then too. We jumped off the rocks into the water. Everything was perfect) This dream with B and L was beautiful and incredible, and I appreciated every moment of it while I was in it.

Analysis – I’m very curious as to what the significance is of finding this swimming hole again. 

I think the message of me always making things about me is obvious, true, and something I’ve been thinking about recently.

I would guess the bits about me thinking I had a dream about that and another dream about that has to do with me trying to become lucid. I am fairly inundated with dreams in the waking world and it would make since this dream stuff would filter into the dream world.

Dream 3

I’m watching a little boy at my childhood house. My ex is there. We’re outside and the boy’s toddling around and we’re following him. We start in the backyard, but then walk around the house to the front yard. My mom’s dog is there. I interrupt my ex as he was saying something and say, “if we’re just walking around I should let the dogs come outside”. Then I say to him, “can you keep and eye on the boy?” He seems a little annoyed at me both for interrupting and leaving him with the kid. I go to open the front door and it is kind of sealed shut. I cut it open by sticking a knife in the seam of the door (between the wall and door) and run it along the edges. I have to pull hard to get it open. I am looking for a red retractable leash and brown leather one. But instead I see 2 red retractable leashes. I hook one on my sister’s dog (from waking life). Then I call for Squirt, who was my dog when I was a kid, but then I remember Squirt’s dead (yes a werid name for a dog), this is Bugsy. I put the leash on him. I go back outside and tell my ex to continue with what he was saying.

Next scene – I get a call from someone, they want me to come over and babysit overnight at 5:30 pm. I tell them I don’t know if I can. I have plans with a friend (an old friend from elementary school I haven’t talked to in a long time). I tell them I’ll call back. I ask this friend: 1, if she wants to do the overnight babysitting job and 2, if she doesn’t, if she minds if I do it. She doesn’t want to, but tells me to go ahead. I call the guy back and tell him I can.

Next scene – I’m over at their house and I’ve already put the boy to sleep. I’m in a bedroom, a spare room, the bed is messed up. I’m going to be leaving this room and sleeping in the parents room. I make up the bed. I’m grabbing all my different clothes that are strewn about. I was thinking how easy of a job this was and I was glad to be doing it. Then I had a folded piece of paper in my hand. I was bringing it over with me to the parents bedroom. It was something I wrote my dreams on, but then I noticed it only had dates on it and I remembered I’m not writing my dreams anymore, I’m voice recording them. This paper was a written way to keep track of them. ( I saw my hands but did not take note of them and gain consciousness)

Next scene – I’m in the parents bedroom. I see what looks like a blue rubber band moving across the floor. It is kind of dark in the room so I look around for a flashlight to get a closer look at it. When I put a light on it, it slowly transforms/moves into a straight line, still blue, and begins darting across the floor faster. When I get closer and shine the light on it I see it’s made up of different bugs all in a row. Then I see this crazy shape design that looks like an intricate necklace with jewels moving across the floor. When I look at it closer I see it’s all these bugs with maybe a couple jewels inbetween. The bugs were making a necklace pattern as a disguise. I thought they were pretty smart, but it freaked me out.

Then I remembered there was a girl in the house and this was her jewlery kit. Then the girl appeared. I asked her about it. She said she got it for a present, but then decided she didn’t like it. It was like living jewelry. These bugs. Then there were more bugs in jewelry form and something happens. Maybe I try to pick one up. At first, they create a bracelet on my arm. All the little bugs latch on to my skin like a pinch and it hurts and I feel it and I don’t like it. But I think, oh, this is how the jewelry works. The bugs latch onto your skin. Then all the sudden my hand is covered in these pinchy bugs. I’m mad at the girl and I grab her and pull her down the stairs. I tell her I need her to open the door for me. I want to get the bugs off but I want them outside. We are now back at my childhood home standing in the foyer.

We are facing the front door. The door is lined with yellow caution tape. But it has obviously been ripped through and is no longer sealing the door shut. I think, oh this is why I had a hard time opening the door earlier. The door had been sealed shut in order to keep the girl inside because I guess she had been left alone and someone thought sealing the door shut would keep her safe.

The girl opens the door and we walk outside. I’m trying to get the bugs off me. I’m trying to just brush them off, but they are latched on really good. I have to use my nails and scrape at them, but it really hurts and is still difficult. I try to pluck them off one by one. It is super gross and painful. Then I step on something. I’m barefoot. It is a sharp pain. I look at my foot and there is a beetle in the middle of my foot, just below my toes. It has latched onto me. I go to pull it off, it fuking hurts, and a part of it is left behind. Like when you pull out a tick and the head can stay embedded. It’s little legs are still stuck in me. I think, I need to get something to get these legs out, but then they suck all the way into my skin and I can’t see them. Well, I guess it’ll have to be ok then

Then there is another beetle latched on me. I don’t know if it just appeared or I put my foot down and stepped on another one. I see the beetle’s body starting to seep into my skin. Head first it is burrowing in. I quickly grab the butt end of it before it disappears completely. I slowly begin pulling it back out. I’m afraid of it breaking and having half the beetle stuck in me. Using the power of my will, the beetle slides all the out and I throw it. Then I wake up.

Analysis – There was caution tape on my walk today which was interesting. Caution tape is not something I normally, if ever, dream about and it is not something I normally see either.

I really have no idea what this dream means, but I find a few things interesting. One, the dream was incredibly detailed. Two, again the ideas of dreams appearing in my dream. Three, the actual strong stinging pain I felt in the dream. Four, how the dream came back around at the end and explained why the door had been hard to open from the other side. Five, it is interesting to note the idea was to trap the girl in the house to keep her safe and even though we started out somewhere else, the girl was trapped in my old childhood home. So maybe a representation of me. It’s interesting how in a sense then, I freed her by opening the door without even realizing it at the beginning of the dream. Or maybe I let the demon bugs in the house because I unsealed the door. Who knows? Lastly, my Mom’s dog’s name is Bugsy. Maybe thinking of the dog’s name Bugsy, brought on the idea of bugs.

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