Lucid dream from a couple weeks ago – 6/22/17
Around 15 – 20 years ago a friend and I kind of had a pact, or maybe just a goal. If we became lucid in a dream we would try to find the other one and give them a message. Then see if they could remember it in waking life. One time I did find the friend, but I forgot to give her the message. Fast forwarding – Just before bed on June 22, I got the idea to find my friend B in a dream and give him a message. I hadn’t discussed this with him at all prior and I didn’t even know if he remembers his dreams. I set my intention of getting B, giving him the message of dreamcatchers, and to make dreamcatchers appear in the dream to solidify the message. (I think I decided on dreamcatchers because there is one hanging over my bed, so that is what I saw last before sleep)
I don’t remember how I became lucid. I was just lucid. Maybe I entered the dream in a lucid state. I’m in the grass. There is a playground behind me and a blacktop bike path in front of me. Someone is with me, I know them in the dream, but I don’t know who they are. I can’t see their face.
I’m lucid. I remember my mission. Get B. In the past I have always tried to find someone, but for some reason I decided to try and bring him into my dream. (maybe because I made the intention “get B” instead of “find B”) I focused and B appeared, only he was a little boy. He was scared. Timid. Nervous. Shy. I got down on my knees and started talking to him. Consoling him. Telling him it’s okay, it’s okay. The other person tells me I’m really good with him. “Well yea, I know kids,” I say. Then I embrace him to help calm him. I tell him everything will be ok. I think, I’m going to make him grow now. I close my eyes while holding him and I imagine him to be bigger. To be older. Grown up. I feel him growing in my arms. I feel his energy becoming more man like, his body getting bigger. His arms more muscular. His body is pushing on my embrace. I let go and step back, giving him space. At one point, I had thought, oh no, I closed my eyes again, I better not wake up. But I didn’t. (because every other time I’ve closed my eyes in a lucid dream I start to wake up)
I open my eyes and it’s B. He’s an adult now. But he’s kind of shaky, swinging, off-kilter. He’s having a hard time getting it together, like he’s really out of it. I think it’s because I just brought him here or because he just shifted. I tell him how he was a little boy at first and I made him grow. I tell him, maybe this is why he is unbalanced. I tell him how he was acting as a little boy. I ask him if that was what he was really like. He says yes. I say that’s cool or that’s funny, something.
We start walking through the playground, it’s a wooden playground, and he’s leaning on me for support because he is still really off balance and having a hard time functioning. I have my left arm around him and my right hand is holding on to his right fingers. Trying to help stabilize him. I can feel his individual fingers. They feel solid. Then I let go because that’s weird that we’re kind of holding hands and I don’t want him to think I’m being weird.
When he seems more conscious and stable, I say to him, “I’m wondering if you can do me a favor. I want you to do something for me.” He says ok. I say, “The next time I talk to you, can you tell me dreamcatchers?” “What?” he asks. “The next time we talk, can you just tell me something about dreamcatchers?” “How am I supposed to do that?” “Just tell me you had a dream about lots of dreamcatchers. You know I like dreams, so of course I would want to hear about your dream. Just tell me you had a dream about a lot of dreamcatchers. Can you do that?” “Yea, Yea, I can do that.”
“Here” I say, “We’re going to turn the corner up there and there are going to be a lot of dream catchers. Just hold on.” He seems pretty skeptical. This was all part of the waking plan, to make dream catchers appear to solidify the idea. I was thinking in the dream, how should I make them appear? Then I remembered ideas I read about. (for example, To make things appear when you open a door or turn a corner.) So I imagined in my mind dreamcatchers around the corner. I can’t remember if I closed my eyes or not. But I tried to picture what different dream catchers looked like. We turn the corner and there is a long string tied from one tree to another, about 6 feet in the air. All these different kinds of dream catchers are hanging from the string.
“Look,” I say “You’re having a dream about dreamcatchers. Lots of dreamcatchers.” We stand by them and check out all the different ones. I want him to absorb this into his memory. He seems pretty amazed that I said there would be dream catchers and then there was. I say again, “So see, you’re having a dream about dreamcatchers. You can tell me about this dream.”
We continue walking. Brim starts acting a little weird. I ask if he’s ok. He says he’s feeling uncomfortable after our last conversation. Last conversation? What the hell was our last conversation? I’m trying really hard to think of it and am coming up with all kinds of random things that don’t seem right. I can’t remember if he finally says something that gives me a clue or if I just remember on my own.
I say, “Oh, about us getting together to hang out. Are you backing out on me?” (we had talked about possibly meeting up in our last conversation)
He says “No, it’s not that”. He thinks he’s lost his job. It’s feeling that way. That things aren’t going to work out. He’s preparing to lose his volunteer position (which he does have a new job, but not volunteer position, I didn’t pick up on this). He’s really bummed too because he just came all the way east (which is true) and now he has to pay $2100 rent and he has no job and no income and doesn’t know what to do. (B doesn’t pay rent, but I didn’t pick up on this either). I feel really bad for him. I wonder if this is a real thing in waking life. I am excited that I can fact check this piece of information when I wake up. I wonder if I can help him in anyway.
We keep walking. Now that the air is clear, everything feels natural. My mission about finding him and dreamcatchers is complete so I really have no other purpose in this dream. We walk to a building. We are about to go inside, but first B grabs 2 bundles of fire wood. “What are you doing?” I ask him. “I thought it would be nice to have a fire.” He says.
“We don’t need that wood” I say “I can just make fire appear” He looks at me skeptically, but puts the wood back. We walk inside the building through a glass door. “Can’t you make fire appear?” I ask. “You just stick your arm out and wave your hand and say fire” I do it, but without intent, I’m not actually trying to make the fire right now. “Are you sure you can do that?” He asks me. I imagine us hanging out in the woods sitting by the fire in this dream space and how kool that would be. What if I can’t make the fire? “Ok” I say, opening the door back up and grabbing one wood bundle. “We’ll take one thing of wood just in case I fail.”
We’re walking down a long narrow hallway in the building. It is so kool. Here we are, B and me, walking in the dreamspace together. I’m so amazed that this is happening. I can’t believe I actually brought him into my dream. Everything feels just like normal life, only it’s the dream world. Super kool. Oh no, I think. I’m getting too excited. Robert Waggoner said strong emotions take us out of the lucid dream. I have to stabilize. What to do? I think about looking at my hands. I see them in my peripheral, they are kind of shaking. No, I think, everytime I look at my hands to stabilize it doesn’t work and I wake up. So I look at the floor instead. I think Robert Waggoner, or someone else maybe, suggested this. You need to ground yourself, so look at the ground. I see the carpet. It is very detailed. It is mostly maroon, but with intricate swirly black and dark brown patterns through it.
I look back up in the dream, I don’t wake up, but now the Lucidity is only in the background of my mind.
An asian guy approaches us. He has a wide face and looks a little bit like a Japanese Australian guy I used to know. He and B have a conversation that I don’t hear. Somehow he joins us. I don’t know if maybe B knew him. We continue down the hallway and people start appearing. Now it feels like we are in an airport and are going to get on a plane.
There is a confrontation between three to five guys and one guy. The one guy has moved through them. The other guys are really upset. It feels like things may turn violent. I’m slightly nervous. I say something like, “it’s cool, it’s cool.”
B says to them, “yeah that guy was a dick. Man that’s so rude. Why would a guy be so rude to you. That’s not cool” Then the main guy were talking to says something about yea, let’s go get him. B says, “he’s way long gone now, but you know, whatever, fuck him”. I was thinking, Wow, B, good job diffusing the situation. I had tried to just smooth it over with peace, but he validated their feelings, showing comraderie, and also used it as a distraction. Validated their anger without building it up. So then the other guy was long gone, and they didn’t feel as bad since they had been validated.
At some point a guy stops us. He’s holding up 2 IDs and checking them against B and me. To see if we are those people. I have a vague since like, this is a dream, there’s no way that’s me. But the lucidity is minimal. The guy makes a joke and says one of the IDs is me. He calls me by the name on the ID, it’s some tough gang member guy with a bald head. We all laugh. Then the guy notices my keys clipped on my pants and asks, “what ID is that?” I look. “Oh, that’s just my grocery card” I tell him. (I do always have my keys and grocery card clipped on my belt loop) B has one too I guess and the guy remarks that he thinks it’s strange that we both have one. Then the guy kind of dry humps B. He bangs his cock, through his pants up against B’s cock 3 times. Bop, bop, bop. B laughs. The guy walks away. I think, that is so weird. Why would the guy do that? Why would B laugh? Guys are so weird. Then we continue on.
There are all these miscellaneous people everywhere. We start getting harrassed by all these people with vacuums. They have vacuums with long hoses and they are putting them up against us, and everyone else, trying to steal things by sucking them off people. They are kind of shorter people, but not abnormally. All thin, dressed like gang members, and a mix of white people and latino people. All men. I feel the vacuums sucking on me. They get stuck to my hand. I feel it pulling on my skin. The vacuum is strong. I have to tug it off. Then at one point a vacuum is super stuck on me. I use my foot and place it on the vacuum tube and push it off. I’m free. The guy holding the vacuum is super pissed and says something like “Why the fuk would you do that? What the hell is wrong with you?” He’s really mad. I’m getting nervous. Then I see B jogging past me. So I start to move after him. I’m afraid to run because I’m afraid if I run I’ll be chased, so I speed walk. But B is running and getting further and further ahead. So I start running after him. I run down a hallway. Through some glass doors. Down a hallway. Through some glass doors. Down a hallway. Through some glass doors. I’m in an open room. I look around. Where’s B? I was running fast, I had to of caught up with him. I think maybe I passed him. I look back at the glass doors. He’s on the other side running. He gets to the door. I wave. He opens the door and walks through. There’s a check point. I don’t remember going through the checkpoint, but he has to. I start talking to him while he’s at the check point. I say, “I thought you ran ahead, so I ran after you. But then you weren’t here.” He says, “Yea, I figured. I saw you run by me, so I ran after you.”
Then he comes to where I am. I thought maybe the dream would continue without him, but he’s back. I’m glad. (another slight lucid bit) Then the asian guy appears too. And I say, “Oh you’re here now too. Kool. We’re all together.” Then everything is shaking and fading. I think, I’m waking up. Well, I guess that’s fine. The dream seems like it’s concluded. (more lucidity) Then everything fades to black and then I’m awake.
I’m excited and amazed when I wake up. I record my dream. As I lay there, everything starts to feel really wrong. Like really, really wrong. I feel awful, embarrassed and ashamed. I should never have brought B into my dream without his permission. That was completely wrong of me. The experience feels so real. I never actually thought that would happen. I feel beyond awful. I vow I will never do something like that again without someone’s permission.
Then I remember the vision I had when meditating. About how when you pull someone into a dream they can get partially trapped in the dreamspace. I decided I needed to open up a tear in the fabric of the dreamspace to make sure B got out. (I know that sounds crazy)
I spend a lot of time meditating on an image of ripping open the dreamspace. Poking holes in it. I never got out of bed. I laid there, eyes closed, imagining darkness and that the dreamspace was on the other side of the darkness. I imagined reaching my hands out, back of hands together, puncturing through the darkness and using my hands to rip open the darkness into the dream space. Saying a mantra about opening a tear in the dream space, poking holes in the dreamspace, and telling B to go through it.
I kept not feeling good, though. Unaccomplished. I felt like I wasn’t doing it. I still felt awful. So I continued. Focusing more. Then again, I imagined tearing a hole through the darkness with my hands. I could see it ripping open. It was like a tunnel. Ripping through layers and layers. Deeper and deeper into the abyss. Very 3 dimensional. Then I start slipping into a somewhat hypnogogic state, but also still lucid. Myself or someone else, enters a very long pipe into the tear in the fabric. Shoves it all the way through the many, many layers. This was not a conscious idea, but I am somewhat conscious. Then the other person or myself puts all kinds of herbs or chemicals or something into the pipe. Then lights it on fire. I hear/feel; a whoosh! As a fireball shoots all the way down through the pipe. Then there is a big explosion and I’m thrown into a full on dream scene. I’m standing in a science lab with the other person and I think, we did it! We blew a hole into the dream space. Then I start slipping more into hypnopompic and am seeing/feeling dual vision/sensation of the dream world and waking world. I think, Leave now B. Get out. I try to will him, push him out.
I wake up fully, but still attached to these visions. I feel tingly, glowing, vibrating, like a really intense body high. It’s a fantastic feeling. I think that’s a sign that I was successful, but I’m not completely convinced, so I focus on the direct hole through the tube I made into the dream space and insert my consciousness through it. I shoot right back into a hypnagogic type dream with a somewhat lucid awareness. I hold the space open. I stay in it. I tell B to go. I hold the space open as long as I can.
Then I’m thrown out of the dream and fully wake up, disconnected from the tube/hole and dreamspace. I felt 100% good. Like everything was ok now. No longer worried. Still knowing what I did was wrong, and will not do it again, but I felt I fixed it. Everything is ok now.
I had another dream this night, that’s interesting in combination with this. You can read it here, but basically I had a bad feeling about a guy that I couldn’t explain. I was trying to tell my mom. She thought I was being ridiculous. I couldn’t even back up or give an example of why I felt that way. I just did. But I told her, “I’ve come to learn that sometimes I get these feelings or vibes, and they are never wrong. It’s important to trust and listen to them.” So that seems right on point with this.
Notes about the dream:
1 – So I finally talked to B. It turns out in fact his job was on shaky ground and ended up not happening. So now he has come across country and has no job. Which totally sucks, but is incredible in the fact that what he told me in the dream was actually true. Not only that, he mentions $2100 rent in the dream, which made no since to me, but he has a vehicle he lives in on the other side of the country that is broken down and going to cost around $2100 to fix. So in the dream he told me he was worried about being on the wrong side of the country, with no job, no money and needing to pay $2100. Which is accurate for the waking world, none of which I knew accept for his location. As far as him getting my message, he says he doesn’t remember any of the dreams he’s been having. So no way to validate that. But the good news is he was not upset that I pulled him into my dream without asking first.
2 – I like noting how B diffused the situation between the 3 – 5 guys and 1 guy. Not just placating, but validating. This is great advice I think.
3 – The part after the dream is equally as interesting as the dream itself. I have never had any kind of experience like this before. I had been fully awake for 20 minutes recording this long dream, then decided I better go back into the dreamspace and make sure B wasn’t trapped (yes, I know it sounds crazy. But follow your instincts right?)
4 – Granted I was still in bed and as close to the dream world as I was the waking world, probably making this dream world easier to access. But the fact that my conscious mind decided to do something, tried to visualize it, then it became a hypnagogic image actually happening, then the same thing/thought process transformed into a full blown dream with all the previous memories still in tact. I’m kind of amazed.
5 – Not only that, but to be able to wake up with those crazy body sensations, and to feel the tunnel I created was still in tact and to ride it back directly into the dreamspace. Holding the gateway open longer until I was completely thrown out…
Even if I never did fully awake (like I thought I was when I felt the body buzz), and I was only in another dream believing I was awake, the whole experience was still pretty kool.
6 – I tried for 5 nights in a row as I was falling asleep to imagine a dream scenario and slip into it (Not a lucid dream, but just to program my dream content), but I couldn’t. Here it seemed to happen so easily. Two thoughts on this. 1 – Maybe it was easier in the morning hours when I wasn’t as exhausted. 2 – The idea I mentioned in another post about emotion combined with intent. In this instance I had very strong emotion. Where as when I’m falling asleep and just trying to create a scenario, there has been no emotion