-I took this photo from An old blog of Arol’s – http://zendik.typepad.com/arol-wulf-zendik-pov/page/8/ –
I was sitting in a chair. Arol Zendik [of the former Zendik Arts Farm Community where I used to live for a short time- if you google them keep an open mind, some people are haters 🙂 ] and someone who resembled a woman from the community named R was there. But it wasn’t R, it was someone else who was maybe visiting. Arol was primarily running the conversation. The Not-R person was listening intently and adding little bits here and there. She did not seem bothered by the fact that Arol was doing most of the talking. Arol looked great. She was glowing. She looked young and vibrant. The same age (late 60’s) as when I saw her last, not like a young woman, but still had a youthfulness about her. Her hair was shiny and her eyes were bright. I took note of all this. But also noticed something was different. Something with her face, with her eyes, but I couldn’t place it. Was she supposed to have glasses? What was wrong? I couldn’t figure it out. When I woke up, I remembered she has a face tattoo, just below her right eye. The tattoo was missing. So far in my dreams tattoos are always missing.
Back to the the dream, The Not-R woman was a musician. Arol was acting like she was so excited to be having a conversation with Not-R, but also it seemed she was excited to hear herself speak. But what she was speaking was beautiful.
I’m pretty sure I was lucid. I was lucid from the beginning of the dream. I remember sitting in the chair, listening to them. I felt like, this is a dream. I knew Arol was dead (she is), but I felt like this was really her, not just an impression of her. Like her spirit or something. Their conversation was beautiful and amazing, it touched me deeply and I didn’t even think to do something other than just sit there and listen. I wish I could remember what Arol was saying. It was poetic, profound, and incredible. I think the level of lucidity was minor. I defintely seemed to be aware I was in a dream, but it never occurred to me to do anything other than listen (maybe that’s a good thing, but my goal had been to heal my throat. I have been sick ever since my last lucid dream a couple nights ago). Also, typically once lucid in a dream, I remember every bit of detail, but I could not remember the conversation upon waking. Which surprises me.
My memory of the beginning of this dream is – all the sudden I’m in the dream, aware it’s a dream and the two of them are in the middle of a conversation. Like I just kind of dropped in on them in a lucid state. I sat there quietly, just listening. Thinking about how this was such a kool dream and I was so happy that this where my dream had brought me.
I remember Arol using all these different analogies. She was saying how artists, musicians and people like that, see the world differently than other people. She said something about color. Like to an artist the air may be the color of daffodils, or the music smells like a fresh breeze. Basically how the senses overlap and artists speak abstractly because they don’t see the world as concrete.
I am enamored by this conversation. After sitting quietly and observing for awhile I feel I want to tell them how thankful I am. I say, “thank you for letting me listen in on your conversation. I really appreciate being part of this and being able to be here right now.” Nobody says anything back to me. They didn’t even acknowledge me. I then wondered if perhaps I was spying on a memory from the past. And to them I wasn’t even there. They continued speaking awhile, and then Not-R acknowledged me.
She said, “Oh hi, Doctor. Welcome. We’re so happy to have you here.” (I am not a doctor) At first, I’m caught off guard. But then I remembered the dream I had before this one. I knew it was a previous dream and not real life (An actual dream I had probably directly before this one) In that dream I was becoming a teacher of teachers. I thought maybe there was a connection between that and her calling me doctor.
I said to them, “Thank you. I’m so happy to be here. I’ve been thoroughly enjoying your conversation and I appreciate being a part of it.” Then Arol said something to me that I don’t remember. And I said something back in terms of, “Well, it is Zendik so I shouldn’t be surprised that this is the kind of conversation being had.” Arol said something to me about me being a kindred spirit. And how I always brought about these types of conversations and she appreciated it. She wished more people would initiate topics like this. She started to say something else to me, but then got called by a child who was on a playground on top of a hill. Before that, the only thing I was aware of was the grass, a picnic table and the three of us.
I remember thinking that I really wanted to hear what she had to say. She became more and more distracted by her conversation with the child. I became afraid that the dream was going to end. Then I thought the fact that I thought the dream would end would make it end. Then the dream began ending. It became somewhat shakey, fading to grey, losing color, and slipping into blackness.
I was disappointed upon waking. I had been reading Robert Waggoner’s book before bed, and he suggested how when you enter this grey state you can ride it into another lucid dream instead of waking up. I had wanted to try this. The idea had never occurred to me before, I’ve always just accepted that I’m waking up. I completely forgot to try this though. Maybe next time.
1 – The first time I ever had a dream with Arol in it was on the night/day she died. I hadn’t known she died. I woke up from an amazing dream with her I don’t remember anymore and was surprised she had been in my dream. Then once getting on the internet that morning I found out she died. That exact same day I was headed on a road trip down south. I ended up taking a wrong turn and went 2 hours in the wrong direction, which had me driving through the town where Arol had lived at Zendik. I thought to stop in, bring flowers, and share my condolences, but I also thought the community might be wanting its privacy, so I kept driving. Since then, every dream I’ve ever had with Arol has been very profound. She always has wisdom to share and the dreams always seem beautiful and meaningful. This is the first time I was ever lucid in a dream with her.
2 – I don’t know what to make of the person calling me doctor.
3 – I think Arol telling me she’s glad I initiate conversations ‘like this’ is affirmation to keep doing it or do it more. I don’t necessarily always initiate these conversations and when I do I feel vulnerable and like a weirdo. But at the same time I feel if I want to connect to this aspect within other people I have to expose this aspect of myself. Let your crazy shine! Was my mantra of yesterday
4 – I was reading Robert Waggoner’s book, “Lucid Dreaming – Gateway to the Inner Self”, just before bed. The part I was reading was talking about how sometimes a lucid dreamer will encounter a “’distracter’ or lucid dream figures that seem to work in opposition to your intended goal or your lucid awareness”. Which to me would be demonstrated in my lucid dream about the Lucidity Police. He also says, “you might meet the converse in lucid dreams or ‘attractors’, meaning lucid dream figures who garner your attention by being attractive, seductive, or in some way very noticeable” which seems obviously depicted in my last lucid dream, Lucid Sexual Encounter. But even here in this dream as well I was being distracted from my Lucid Dreaming Goal. Where as Robert mentions the ‘distracter’ plays on your fears and doubts, I believe these “attractors” are playing on my wishes and desires. The obvious desire for sex in the one dream, and the desire for friendship, connection and stimulating conversation in this dream. While it does seem like a valuable tool to experience things we lack in the waking world in the dream world, I have more loftier goals than this. I hope next time I will not be so distracted.