My job changed recently. I now work early mornings and long days. It is kind of taking me out and has me exhausted at night. The change isn’t supposed to last forever, it is just an interim phase. It could be over tomorrow or in 6 months, I don’t know and won’t know. I had a dream awhile back that this phase of my job would last 6 weeks. Hopefully the dream will prove accurate, because mornings and long days are cramping my style.
That may be part of why my dreams are less and I’m having difficulty gaining consciousness, or it could be I used up all my dream power during my last astral travel, who knows. I finally did gain consciousness in my sleep last night, but it was a bit pathetic. Often I will have 2 lucid dreams close together, so I will cross my fingers in hopes of the next one.
It’s hard to remember. I think I was in a really, really tall building with lots of windows. I was thinking about jumping out of the building and then hovering in the air or something. I can’t remember exactly. It was something involving somebody else. Needing to give somebody something or a message? I wanted to hover myself in the air or throw something into the air and have it hover, something like that. I questioned if that was possible. I wasn’t sure. I knew gravity existed, but I felt like we could defy gravity if we tried hard enough. Either use our mental power to make something float or kind of tread air (like in the water) to make ourselves float. But, I wasn’t quite sure. I was smart enough to decide to test it. I didn’t want to just jump out the window and risk it, so I decide to jump into the air and see if I could float. I jumped up and sure enough, I floated. But then it hit me. This is a dream! I wasn’t even doing it as a reality check, but it still worked. Unfortunately, I was so insanely exhausted and it’s been over 2 weeks since my last lucid dream – once I realized I was dreaming, I was mostly in shock. I couldn’t believe it! For one, I never thought it was a dream and I was just shocked that this reality I was in was actually a dream, and for 2, I was so excited that yes! I was finally lucid again. It had been so long. All this emotion woke me out of it. I don’t really know exactly what happened. If I woke up fully then fell back to sleep or was just automatically teleported into another dream. Because then this next dream started:
The car was driving itself while I was in the back sleeping. I think I had been in Savannah, Georgia and was headed south. I needed to get off the highway at exit 29. I woke up, realizing I had fallen asleep in the back of the car. So it was like I woke up from the lucid dream and found myself in the back of the car that was driving itself. This seemed perfectly normal to me. I actually have this kind of dream 2 -3 times a year. The car had the ability to stay on the highway, but not turn off. I thought I better check where I was at. I passed mile marker 18. Shit! I had missed my exit. That’s when I started thinking about Savannah and that the exit numbers were getting lower, not higher, and I had passed my destination. I jumped into the driver seat to take over controls. I needed to get off at the next exit and then turn around.
All the sudden it’s like I’m in Utah or somewhere in the southwest (where I’ve spent a lot of time). The scenery is mountainous, deserty. All browns, reds, and yellows. Canyons. The car is driving insanely fast. I notice the speedometer is reading over 400 mph. I can’t focus on the passing cars, highway or scene because everything is moving so fast. The scene keeps glitching in a way, like a bad internet connection. The car is out of control. Going off the road, hovering over the abyss, and then back on to the road. (this is also a common dream theme). Then the car is racing over huge breaks in the road. The car goes up, and the fast speed allows it to fly through the air and then land down where the road continues. Like a video game. A first person car racing game. Which I used to play all the time as a kid, but not for years anymore. I decide I need to slow this car down and get back control. But when I slow the car down, I still keep hitting breaks in the highway where I am flying through the air. Then the car falls short of making the landing and falls down into the abyss. This part is more seen from a third person perspective. I see the car driving on the road rather than actually being in the car. Every time the car falls into nothingness, the scene just starts over. This happened over and over again, slightly different each time. At least 20 times. I start thinking I need to find a balance. Go fast enough to make the jump, but slow enough to stay in control. That’s all I remember
Then sometime later in the night/early in the morning, I had this other kool dream
Dream 3 :
I was with people from Zendik, a community I used to live at. It was night. We had taken an RV to a camping place in this really kool forest. I don’t remember why, but for some reason I walked away from the RV and went exploring. I saw a HUGE crocodile. It’s body must have been at least 20 feet long, plus tail! It was petrified. Like an old tree. It was brown, green and black. Kind of molded into the forest floor. I was a little nervous that it may actually be alive. So I went for a closer look. It was definitely petrified. The forest was lush, dark. The fallen trees covered in green moss and standing trees covered in drippy grey moss. Probably a spanish moss of sorts. There were swooping vines, plentiful ferns, tree stumps, and crocodiles. Crocodiles everywhere. The more I looked around, the more crocodiles I saw. But they were all petrified and they were all HUGE. The forest was hilly, kind of gradiated and there were petrified crocodiles nestled into the different layers of the forest floor. Up on ledges down in holes. I started getting a little spooked. If crocodiles roamed these lands millions of years ago, what’s to say there weren’t still some around today. I left the forest and headed back to the RV. But the RV was gone! They had left without me. I wasn’t overly worried. I was in an amazingly beautiful place. I’d make the best of it and worry about it in the morning. Maybe they would realize I was missing and come back for me. I decided I’d stay close to where the RV had been so it would be easy for them to find me.
There was a dirt road we had driven in on. On one side of the dirt road was the forest I had just come out of and on the other side of the dirt road was a cliff. It was like the ground was rock and then went up in a slant, like a ramp and then just ended. I couldn’t see over the edge from the road. The slant in the ‘rock wall’ prevented this. So I walked over and climbed up the ramp. A whole scene opened up before me. I was overlooking a huge gorge. There was a beautiful river below. It was hard balancing on the ramp of a rock wall, so I straddled the top of it, kind of mounting it like a horse. The top of the ledge was only about 6 inches wide so I didn’t feel safe just sitting on it normal. Looking upstream, I saw there was a huge river that then split in 2. I couldn’t see where the 1 part of the river went, off to the left somewhere, but the other part was right below me. It was beautiful. I took a picture. I remember thinking, wow I had no idea this place was so beautiful and I just felt like everything was incredible
Next scene – its morning. Cars are driving down the dirt road, one every few minutes. Then I see Zendik’s RV. They came back! I’m very excited. The RV parks and I see N walk out of it. Then I run over. I go inside, saying, “you guys came back! You left last night and I was worried.” They kind of brush me off, ignore me.
Next scene – there are 4 or 5 of us in the tiny RV bathroom. K and C are talking about toothpaste. Apparently C was supposed to remember to bring the toothpaste and she forgot. K is very upset. I say, “ok so, I guess I’ll go buy some toothpaste.” They ignore me. Then K shows C that she has the toothpaste. She picked up C’s slack. She’s mad about this and seems mad at me for acting like it wasn’t a big deal and that I would so easily just fix the problem instead of reaming into C. Then I start to feel very cramped in this tiny bathroom and I want out. I ask K and C to move away from the door so I can get out. I go outside. I’m thinking that I also need to brush my teeth. I can feel the grossness of morning breath in my mouth, but I figure it can wait. I really don’t want to be in that bathroom right now.
The RV is parked on the road, blocking it. I wonder about it being in people’s way who are trying to drive by. I had seen all those cars earlier and figure there will be more. Then I see my friend Y has his tent set up in the grassy spot where the RV had been parked before. I don’t know why his tent is there, but I assume that’s why the RV just stopped in the road.
Analysis – I feel like these are some powerful dreams. But what do they mean? Questioning if I can manipulate gravity seems a bit on point with my mental status these days. I’ve been kind of questioning everything. The reality and possibilities of everything. I question myself and my experiences often. I’ve been questioning why I question this. I feel I need to trust in order to move forward.
In the driving dream, if I was an outsider looking in, I would analyze this to say it seems like life is spinning out of control. Things are happening too quickly. I feel like everything is happening outside myself and I’m feeling like I need to get a grip on my reality. But I don’t want to control things or slow things down too much because then I will miss out on the ride. So I’m looking for a happy medium where I feel in control enough, yet can let go enough to let life transpire naturally. I don’t neccesarily think this is how I actually feel. In fact, I feel more like things are happening way too slow and I wish to speed them up. So maybe then the dream is telling me that if things move too quickly my life will be out of control and just pass me by without any of it being able to sink in. So I need to go slow, even if I don’t want to.
In the crocodile dream, again if I step outside myself and think about how I would analyze this for someone else, it seems that I don’t need the crowd. I’m happy alone. Left to explore unchartered territories. The world is an amazing beautiful place, and if I open myself up to it and ride the wave of life, I will see that. Everything will work out. Also, maybe I am where I need to be right now, maybe there is still more to explore here. The ancient petrified crocodiles definitely seem to hold a great secret, a special meaning. Lizards and specifically crocodiles are my spirit dream animal, but deciphering the message doesn’t always prove easy.