Meditation Visions – Questioning Reality?

While I have not been lucid dreaming much as of late, I have had a few interesting meditations.

On 7/17 I found out a friend of mine was in the hospital, potentially on his death bed. They didn’t know what was wrong yet, but I had been told that no matter what the news was, it was going to be bad. There was no possible way that what was going on with him was simply nothing, a fluke. That night I thought I would try to heal him in my dreams. I had previously decided not to ever look for someone in a dream without their permission first, but I thought this case deserved an exception. I didn’t become lucid and I had a couple dreams that had nothing to do with him or healing.

The next day, 7/18, I decided to meditate on focusing healing energy towards him.

Meditation –

I kept slipping off into hypnagogia that had nothing to do with healing or X. I remember being hog tied at one point and was going to have to sit in the back of the bus or van. I thought, “why am I hog tied again?” (as I was in this other meditation) Then I came out of it.

Again I focused on healing X. On talking to the spirits and asking them to help X in whatever way they were capable and the universe allowed. I plead a case for X, explaining why he of all people should be healed.

It was weird because I envisioned myself hovering over X horizontally. Just above him. Definitely not at all sexual. But it is interesting that this is how I thought I needed to be positioned in order to help heal him and send white light. It was not a conscious decision to appear this way, it just happened.

I felt like and told him, he would be ok. I knew that eventually it would be like this never even happened. But there was something he needed to learn. I didn’t know what it was, maybe he worked too hard, maybe something with his partner, his parents? I had no idea. It wasn’t my business to know. But he needed to get the message and incorporate it into his life and pysche and so long as he did this, he would be fully healed. It was like the universe or spirits were commnuicating this to me, and I was communicating it to him.

I continued for 2 more nights to find X in a lucid dream and attempt to heal him, but I never became lucid and have no recollection of dreams with him in it.

After math – We found out he’s ok now. In fact, there will be no lingering affects and he will make a full recovery and it should be like this never happened. Just as my vision suggested. I always question these kind of things. Was it just wishful thinking on my part or did I really receive knowledge that he would be fine? 

 

On July 20 – 22 I was trying to reach my friend B in a dream. I had success in the past, so I’m curious if I can do it again. I had some dreams, none of them lucid and none featured him. Then on July 23, I had this meditation experience:

Meditation:

I kept slipping into different hypnagogic images. Then, at some point my friend B appeared. He was lying down, on his stomach, resting. Everything was white or light grey. He may have been on concrete or the beach, I don’t know. There was nothing in the scene except for him. I was investigating him or something like that in the vision, I don’t know. Checking him out. The vibe was he just wanted to be left alone. He needed some space. It was kind of like he asked me to leave him alone. Ok, B, I thought, I’ll leave you alone.

I find this experience fascinating. In meditation, I was not trying to reach him at all. But he appeared before me, seeming tired, asking me to give him space. I feel 100% certain that it was actually him, asking me to stop reaching out to him in the dream space. I don’t think he consciously made an attempt to contact me this way, but I believe somewhere in him he felt me searching him out in the dream world and he responded in kind. I have since stopped looking for him in the dream realm.

It is these kind of experiences that plague me the most in a way. I feel like a crazy person saying I believe this was a real experience, but at the same time I know it was real. Then it creates a split in my consciousness. The part that knows strange things I experience are real and the other part that thinks I’m crazy for believing a dream, vision, or feeling would be an actual thing, not just my imagination. And I believe it is this questioning that cuts me off from having even greater experiences.